Podcast Transcript
Bethany Van Delft :
Hi, I’m Bethany Van Delft, and we’re going to take a walk through the south end. I’m a comedian, I’m a storyteller. I do standup. I work for The Moth. I have a digital series on PBS NOVA called Parentalogic. So if you’re a new parent with questions, check it out. I host a kid’s news podcast on iHeartRadio called the TEN News. If you have kids between eight and 12 years old, and you’re trying to figure out how to talk about the Ukraine, check us out. We’ve got the answers.
Speaker :
Takin’ A Walk with Buzz Knight.
Buzz Knight:
Well, Bethany, it’s so nice to be taking a walk with you here in the south end. It’s so nice to meet you. I’m really grateful that you’re here.
Bethany Van Delft :
Thank you so much for having me. Yeah, I’m so happy We’re walking through the south end. This neighborhood, my family moved from New York City to Boston when I was around 12 years old, and I didn’t like it. We moved right into a bunch of racial disharmony going on at the time. And I always, I felt like as soon as I graduate high school, I will move back to New York. At some point, we were driving through the city and I saw this neighborhood with Victorian row houses and Puerto Rican people and black people and white people and gay people and artists, and it felt so much like New York. I said, “If I stay, I will live in this neighborhood.” And I indeed did for 20 years.
Buzz Knight:
Oh my God. It’s a special neighborhood. But it seems like it’s evolved over time. Right?
Bethany Van Delft :
It’s changed so, so, so much. We’re on Washington Street now. There used to be… The orange line used to be elevated and run straight down Washington Street. And when… Let’s see, I took the train to high school in Copley Square, and when they were doing a revamp project on the red line, I took the orange line to school every day, and we would take the train right down Washington Street, Northampton station, Dover station, Essex station, and I remember going past this really old sandstone Victorian building that was abandoned, and it definitely looked like the kind of place that bats would be flying around and maybe ghosts. I lived in the south end at the time, a couple bought it, and developed it and sold the condos off for a million dollars a piece.
Buzz Knight:
Wow.
Bethany Van Delft :
I could never imagine that happening…
Buzz Knight:
Right.
Bethany Van Delft :
… when we rode by it on the train. I used to get my hair cut at a barber shop under the L that had been… it’s black-owned business, a family had owned it for 75 years. There’s a chocolate shop there now. There’s just so much that’s changed.
Buzz Knight:
Yeah.
Bethany Van Delft :
I know it’s progress for some people, but I often wonder if a chocolate shop is more valuable than a family-owned business, so… But it still has the magic. The buildings are just incredible. I love looking at the buildings here and the buildings in Brooklyn, and knowing that these were all built at the same time period. And just wondering how did our city and New York City, what was the relationship, what was the back and forth that was happening at that time, who were the people that were going back and forth, who were the architects that decided this neighborhood should look like Williamsburg or…
Buzz Knight:
Right.
Bethany Van Delft :
I just love thinking about that.
Buzz Knight:
Well, and I certainly, like you, think about the cities now and how the cities are… I don’t know, they’re changing…
Bethany Van Delft :
Yes.
Buzz Knight:
… really. There’s certain cities that have really changed in a way that, the decline, people leaving, that type of thing. But I feel Boston has been spared of it. Do you agree?
Bethany Van Delft :
That people are leaving?
Buzz Knight:
Yeah.
Bethany Van Delft :
I think, I mean, it depends on, when we say people, it depends on who we’re saying, who are people? I think there’s a huge exodus of people of color from the south end, being replaced by people with wealth or people who are upwardly mobile or young people starting families that have the kind of money it takes to live in this neighborhood now. I guess that’s an important thing is when we say people or, I do it all the time too, I’ll say nobody likes that thing, but the truth is somebody likes that thing. It’s just no one in my experience likes that thing, or maybe I don’t like that thing. So I think that’s important.
Buzz Knight:
Yeah. It’s a fair point. I think your point on how it’s so expensive to live here, it does create just a different series of opportunities, or less opportunities, really…
Bethany Van Delft :
Yeah.
Buzz Knight:
… for people to be able to afford it. When I think of what’s going on with the cities, once again, it just feels like there’s been so much decay and so much that’s been let go in cities. Chicago’s had a tough time, obviously, before the San Francisco has, New York has had its challenges certainly, all before COVID, I think.
Bethany Van Delft :
Yeah.
Buzz Knight:
But Boston seems to, at least for the quality of the city in general, seems to have held strong, I guess, in my opinion. I don’t know if you agree with that or not.
Bethany Van Delft :
I think that there are neighborhoods that have of seen the same decay. The south end, for sure, was one of those neighborhoods. In the ’60s and ’70s, it was predominantly an African American neighborhood. And there were… If you go down West Rutland and West Newton, those buildings were all owned by African American families. A lot of the men of the family were porters on the Amtrak, the trains that went back and forth. That was a position that one of the few positions that African Americans had back then that were stable jobs with income security.
Bethany Van Delft :
A lot of this neighborhood were African American people who had stable jobs and could own properties. So, the neighbors took care of their neighborhood pretty much themselves. It wasn’t the city taking care of the neighborhood. There were several instances where the city wanted to tear down whole blocks of buildings to put in overpass. But the neighborhood, the people in the neighborhood fought against it, and they kept the neighborhood. The neighborhood was turned around really by the residents, and once people from outside the neighborhood saw it and thought, “This is a great place to live.” Then, the city started pouring money into it.
Buzz Knight:
Yes. Right.
Bethany Van Delft :
That’s the pattern that’s… Chicago might be going through it now, but the same thing will happen there. Neighborhoods in New York went through it also the same time, period, ’60s and ’70s. What you see now is the same thing. The city’s pouring money into it because a different group of people wants to live there and finds that neighborhood valuable. I think as a whole city, we may have… I’m not sure. I know that we definitely have neighborhoods that have experienced the same thing as other cities. I just think it might not be as talked about maybe.
Buzz Knight:
Yeah. Maybe. That’s right.
Bethany Van Delft :
Maybe that’s it.
Buzz Knight:
Yeah. Let’s talk about your ride down here first of all.
Bethany Van Delft :
Yes. Oh my goodness.
Buzz Knight:
All right. So, you…
Bethany Van Delft :
How crazy.
Buzz Knight:
… were taking one of these major car services that begins with a oo…
Bethany Van Delft :
Yeah. It sounds like schmoober.
Buzz Knight:
Just like everything else in the world, nothing is very easy. So, what the heck happened on the way down?
Bethany Van Delft :
I mean, that is supposed to be one of the easiest things is you click a button and a car comes and picks you up. It’s supposed to be easy, right?
Buzz Knight:
Seems simple.
Bethany Van Delft :
Yes. The driver showed up, and first of all, the rating system is insane.
Buzz Knight:
Oh yeah.
Bethany Van Delft :
The rating system. I was reading a lot about it, because I’m trying to figure it out, is it valuable at all? Does it mean anything? And-
Buzz Knight:
The driver rating system…
Bethany Van Delft :
The driver and the…
Buzz Knight:
… or the passenger rating system?
Bethany Van Delft :
Both rating systems.
Buzz Knight:
Because I don’t understand the passenger rating system.
Bethany Van Delft :
I don’t either. I was just reading a bunch about it, trying to figure it out. What I learned is it’s not always valuable. It’s not always invaluable. It’s a crapshoot.
Buzz Knight:
Yeah.
Bethany Van Delft :
So, the driver that’s coming has a 4.7 rating, which I’ve never seen a rating that low. But I remember reading these articles and thinking, “Oh, he probably just had one person who disliked him so much and threw everything off.”
Buzz Knight:
Right.
Bethany Van Delft :
So, that’s too bad, and I feel bad for this guy, and we’re going to have a great ride. The car pulls up and I’m already running late to meet you, and I’m a little bit stressed out about it. The car pulls up, and I get in and there’s an iPad, a bigger iPad on the dashboard showing a news program.
Buzz Knight:
Oh geez.
Bethany Van Delft :
There’s TV on the dashboard. I got in the car and I waited for a minute, and I said, oh… Because I don’t know, how do you address that?
Buzz Knight:
I know.
Bethany Van Delft :
How do you address that? I would think anybody just turns it off…
Buzz Knight:
That’s an unusual one.
Bethany Van Delft :
… when the passenger gets in the car. So I said, “Oh, you’re watching TV.” And he said, “Yeah. What’s the problem?” I said, “Oh, well, if you’re driving, it’s probably distracting to watch TV.” And he said, “No, I don’t do them at the same time. I drive, I look at the road and I watch TV, and then, I look at the road.” And I said, “Oh, okay. Well, I would feel more comfortable if you turn the TV off.” And he said, “I’m not turning the TV off.” Which again, I’m like, what do I do now? I’m late.
Buzz Knight:
A defiant driver.
Bethany Van Delft :
I’m late. So I’m late, but I also have children.
Buzz Knight:
Yeah.
Bethany Van Delft :
I said, “Okay, well, I’m going to get out of the car then.” And he said, “I don’t care.” That was his tone of voice, “I don’t care.”
Buzz Knight:
Geez.
Bethany Van Delft :
And I went, “Okay.” So I got out of the car.
Buzz Knight:
Oh my God.
Bethany Van Delft :
I did learn from an Uber driver that they do this trick. If anything were to happen like that, or they don’t want to take you or something, they wait for you to cancel the ride…
Buzz Knight:
Yeah.
Bethany Van Delft :
… because then you get charged for it.
Buzz Knight:
Oh yeah.
Bethany Van Delft :
So they just wait not to cancel it. So he waited forever to cancel the ride.
Buzz Knight:
Oh wow.
Bethany Van Delft :
And I used Lyft instead. I got another car.
Buzz Knight:
There are a lot of people who, unfortunately, and I have a friend that I tease constantly about this, I’m like “Allie, you can’t drive and watch TV at the same time.” Now, I don’t know if she does it to the degree that she says she does. Because she has a long drive from work back home. But I’m like, “Hello? No,”
Bethany Van Delft :
No, you can’t.
Buzz Knight:
This is not right.
Bethany Van Delft :
You listen to podcasts.
Buzz Knight:
Yeah.
Bethany Van Delft :
You listen to Takin’ a Walk. That’s what you do.
Buzz Knight:
There you go. Thank you.
Bethany Van Delft :
Yeah. You don’t watch TV. I don’t,
Buzz Knight:
You listen to Allie? You listening to this?
Bethany Van Delft :
Allie, people love you do not watch TV and drive!
Buzz Knight:
Awesome. I love it. I love, see what I love about the podcast platform is you can make direct messages to people that you know are listening. You could do that worldwide. We at times have a large international audience. I can’t figure out why.
Bethany Van Delft :
I love that.
Buzz Knight:
Right?
Bethany Van Delft :
I love it.
Buzz Knight:
Right. So when did you first know you were going to be a comedian? What was the moment that you knew you were going to be a comedian?
Bethany Van Delft :
Oh boy. I always wanted to be, but I didn’t… I mean, it just wasn’t at all in my world of possibility. As far as I knew someone like me could not be a comedian. I was debilitatingly shy in school anywhere. If I was called on or you were looking to me to comment or do something, I would get sick to my stomach. And sometimes I would throw up and sometimes I’d feel like I had to go to the bathroom or I’d faint. And so there was no chance I was ever going to be a comedian, but my family, we loved comedy. My dad was a huge, my dad is still a huge WC Fields, Mae West, Marx brothers fan. And so we grew up watching a lot of that. My mom was a huge fan of Freddy Prinze and Richard Pryor and George Carlin, who we grew up watching them.
Buzz Knight:
Yeah.
Bethany Van Delft :
Monte Python, Mel Brooks, we grew up watching all of that stuff. We very unhealthily handled all of our big emotions by being funny. We handled nothing in a mature way. We were a whole family of prince of tides and it’s something I just always, I loved, but I just was like, this is for people who don’t have this shy, stage fright handicap and then I remember the first time my mom let me watch Saturday Night Live and I was too young to be watching it. But she gave me a lot of conditions. If you do your homework and you do your chores and you listen and you treat your brother and sister well, then you can stay up and watch Saturday Night Live. So I turned into the absolute model child so that I could stay up on Saturdays and watch Saturday Night Live.
Buzz Knight:
Oh wow. That did it?
Bethany Van Delft :
Mm hmm (affirmative).
Buzz Knight:
Wow.
Bethany Van Delft :
And then when I started eventually working in the restaurant business and I’d be at work on Saturday nights. My mom would record Saturday Night Live for me and my brother and I would watch on Sundays after breakfast. And we would memorize all the sketches we’d watch them again and again and again, we would memorize all the sketches and I’ve watched Saturday Night Live every single season ever since, my whole entire life. And people would go, “Ah, well it’s not good anymore. It stopped being good after whatever season. I’m like, “Well, the Yankees weren’t good the whole entire time either.” The Yankees are good for a while. The players leave new players come up. The team absolutely sucks while they gel and they get to know each other and they learn how to work together, and then they become a fantastic team again. So you have to choose Saturday Night Live like the Yankees.
Buzz Knight:
I like that. I like that. So what was the first standup gig?
Bethany Van Delft :
My first standup gig was… So I had one of those wake up moments where actually I was in therapy, my therapist said, “What would you do if you could do anything?” And I had been seeing her for a year at this point. I’d been working in the restaurants for a long, long time. I said, “Well I’d open a restaurant, I’d open a cash cow for something like tea Anthony’s by BU or something like that, that would just, make a ton of money. Then my next restaurant would be more ego involved. And then, my huge restaurant,” she goes, “Just stop right there. You’re only saying that because you work in a restaurant, if you could do anything, what would you do?” And I said, “Oh, be anybody else? Get out of my body, be somebody else and do anything? I’d be on Saturday Night Live for sure.”
Bethany Van Delft :
And she said, “Well, why don’t you do that?” I said, “Oh, because you generally have to start in stand up or sketch. You got to take that and then you work your way up. I’ve got this really great apartment now and really nice boyfriend. If I had to leave for LA, I’d probably leave and I’d have to give up my apartment in south end and blah.” She’s like, “Wow, you’ve already become successful, broken up with people, lost apartments and you’ve literally never even told a joke. Why don’t you start there?” And I was like, “Wow, light bulb. Why don’t I start there?” So I took a class at the Boston Center for Adult Education and I lasted two classes before I absolutely panicked and left and never came back. We knew that the final class would be at a comedy club.
Bethany Van Delft :
It would be at the Comedy Studio in Harvard Square. The final was to do five minutes, do a five minute set that we’ve been working on over the 10 weeks of the class. So I showed up for two classes, didn’t show up for eight classes and then showed up for the final. The teacher is pretty much like, “What are you doing here? You couldn’t even stand up in front of a class room of 10 people, how are you going to do this?” I’m like, “I don’t know, but I am going to do it.” And I sure enough did it.
Buzz Knight:
Wow.
Bethany Van Delft :
I got up on stage. I don’t know if I bombed or not. I just pretty much blacked out. Rick Jenkins, the owner of The Comedy Studio said, “Hey, do you want a few dates?” And I said, “Yeah, I definitely do.” I rode that complete and utter amazement that I did this thing, that I always wanted to do for about four years. I didn’t do what I should have, what you’re supposed to do to get good at comedy. I did a set maybe once a month and I tried to write a whole new set every time, thinking that was respectful to Rick. Like, “Hey, thanks for the time I won’t make you listen to the same old garbage I’m going to write a whole new set.” Which is absolutely insane. That’s not how comedy works. I did that for a while until it was awful and the most stressful thing and I quit for another four years maybe.
Buzz Knight:
You quit?
Bethany Van Delft :
Totally quit.
Buzz Knight:
Really?
Bethany Van Delft :
I was like, “This is horrible. I hate this. I feel awful. I suck at it. This is not for me at all.”
Buzz Knight:
Yeah.
Bethany Van Delft :
And I ended up seeing comedian, the Seinfeld movie.
Buzz Knight:
Yes.
Bethany Van Delft :
And Orny Adams was miserable and Colin Quinn was miserable and Seinfeld, they’re just all talking about this super painful process that comedians go through. I was like, “Oh my God, I am a comedian.”
Buzz Knight:
Right.
Bethany Van Delft :
Ended up running into Rick, serendipitously ran into Rick. And he said, “Do you want to try again?” And I was like, “I do. And I will do it right this time.”
Buzz Knight:
Wow.
Bethany Van Delft :
He gave me a few more dates and I went to all the open mics and I bombed terribly and I cried all the time. And I just really, really, really, really stuck with it. I would say honestly, the two years before the pandemic is the very first time that I felt real comfortable. I truly am a comedian. I’m a funny comedian. And this is, yeah, this is what I do. This is me. But it took that long. And I do remember that’s 18 or so close to 20 years, maybe. I do remember one time halfway through that, standing outside of Hard Cock cafe for the Boston comedy festival.
Bethany Van Delft :
We were young comedians and we were complaining about something or other. And I was saying, “Oh my God. I did this in my set and I should have said this, but I said, it like that. And I forgot this word and blah, blah, blah.” And going, we’re just commiserating and Tony V walked by and he said, “You just got to keep doing it.” And I was like, “Yeah, but I was trying to get this joke and blah, blah, blah.” And he goes, “How long you been doing it?” And I said, “Like four years.” And he goes, “You don’t even matter till you’ve been doing it 10 years.”
Bethany Van Delft :
He’s like, “You don’t know who you are until you’ve been doing it 10 years. So just keep doing what you’re doing. Stop complaining, do the work and see what happens when you’ve been at 10 years.” And I of course have known Tony V the whole time I’ve been doing comedy. So when I was in it for 10 years, I got to say, “Tony, you were wrong. It’s 10 years and I still don’t know who the hell I am, but it’s coming. I can feel it. I can feel it.”
Buzz Knight:
I was going to say. And how dare your shrink suggest that you were maladjusted in the world of comedians. I mean, I find that to be the most insulting thing that your shrink could possibly say and be paid for it. So, I mean, literally, but yeah, it is the pain and suffering.
Bethany Van Delft :
Yeah.
Buzz Knight:
Right.
Bethany Van Delft :
Well, it’s the hard work.
Buzz Knight:
Yeah.
Bethany Van Delft :
Everything takes really hard work and that, stand up is such a personal, lonely thing in a way, because you’re creating this thing. And then in order to put it out into the world, you have to stand there and put it out into the world and then you have to receive whatever reaction to it.
Buzz Knight:
Right.
Bethany Van Delft :
So it’s, I guess it is not for the faint of heart that’s for yeah. But it’s so… I don’t know. I really just love it. I didn’t love it for quite a period, but the couple years, right before the pandemic, I have to say, I just loved it so much. And I remember, someone like Tony V saying, “All right, go up, have fun.” And I’d be like, “Who has fun when they do comedy, what a weird thing to say to somebody.” Now I get it. It is supposed to be fun. You’re supposed to be being up there having fun. And that’s what people get from you. They get from you that you are having fun and that is contagious. Even if, I tend to talk about things as our walk started out, I tend to talk about things that are real, that are maybe sometimes difficult to talk about.
Bethany Van Delft :
But I even in comedy, I do that. But I do think that’s the place where you can have those conversations. If you could bring levity to something that’s difficult to talk about, you at least get the conversation started. Where, it’s hard for me to start a difficult conversation. I’d rather avoid it. And I’d rather watch cartoons or a show or something. But if the topic comes up with levity, if you can bring the topic up in a way that suggests that it is not the end of the world, if we have this conversation and good things might come of it, then I think it’s really helpful. It’s helpful to just move things along and to progress.
Buzz Knight:
Is one of the most frustrating things as a comedian where someone says, “Hey Bethany, I know you’re a comedian. Say something funny.”
Bethany Van Delft :
Yes. I love that. It’s not frustrating. It’s just hilarious. Because this might be a doctor saying that.
Buzz Knight:
Yeah.
Bethany Van Delft :
Right. I’ll be like, “Well, check my liver and I’ll trade you for a joke or whatever it is an architect saying it, build me a house and I’ll tell you a joke.
Buzz Knight:
Right.
Bethany Van Delft :
But it isn’t people, you’re right, people don’t see it as, this is my job and I’m not here doing my job with you. So it’s maybe a little inappropriate to ask for it.
Buzz Knight:
Steve Sweeney told me that on a walk, he basically was like, “I absolutely that’s one of the things I hate the most with someone is like, Hey”
Bethany Van Delft :
You’re funny.
Buzz Knight:
… Sweeney, you’re funny. And it just drives him crazy. But so is Michael Chay, right in any way, when he talks about Boston in terms of racism?
Bethany Van Delft :
It is his experience. So that’s what I’ll say. He is right if he feels that’s his experience. I mean, and we both know standing here, yeah, Boston has a lot of problems with racism. I don’t know what he experienced at that time. I do know he keeps coming back and I do know that there’s lots of racism in really everywhere, all across our beautiful country. It’s a problem that we’re reckoning with right now. So yeah, I guess did I skirt around that well enough?
Buzz Knight:
You did it very well, but yet we don’t know what he experienced or what he still experiences.
Bethany Van Delft :
Yeah.
Buzz Knight:
We have no idea. He does come back as he’s a comedian he’s in business.
Bethany Van Delft :
The crowd loves him. He has a lot of fans here, he has huge. I’ve opened for him to sold out… I’ve opened for him at laugh.
Buzz Knight:
Yeah.
Bethany Van Delft :
All shows are sold out. I’ve opened for him at the Wilber. So he sold out. So he loves the fans. But again, it’s a tough conversation. People don’t want to believe negative things about the place they’re from. But yeah, Boston has a long history with racism and it’s still here. I believe we’re working on it. I believe electing a mayor who is a woman, who is Asian, is a huge step. It shows that the city does want to change and be different and move forward. So I think that’s a great thing. Whether everyone agrees with all of our politics or all of her programs, I think everyone can agree that it is a sign of progress.
Buzz Knight:
Yep.
Bethany Van Delft :
It’s an incredible sign of progress.
Buzz Knight:
So, everyone is going to be talking forever about, you know what I’m going to say?
Bethany Van Delft :
It’s supposed to be timely, remember.
Buzz Knight:
Okay. But they’re going to be talking forever about Chris Rock and Will Smith. So any reflections from you on this?
Bethany Van Delft :
I am, I’m like,
Buzz Knight:
You knew what I was going to say, right?
Bethany Van Delft :
I totally did. I totally did. I want to say I’m the child of old activists. Okay. My parents have been, they were activists when we were born. When I saw that, my first reaction was, this is all anyone who’s going to talk about while Ukraine is getting obliterated. Everyone’s going to forget that there is a horrible war happening and our earth is melting because these two couldn’t get their lives together. That’s really, truly what I thought. I don’t have an important opinion about it either way. I’m more concerned with that will take over the news cycle for a week and a half while other stuff is happening. This is literally the problem with where human is humans are on earth at this time. Is that something like that could truly bump out the humanitarian crisis happening in Europe right now. And the fact that our planet’s about to burst into flames.
Buzz Knight:
Right.
Bethany Van Delft :
I mean, I saw the day before the slap, I saw an article that Antarctica was 90 degrees hotter than it’s ever been in the history of taking temperatures, what’s more important? That Will Smith got up in a silly, made up ceremony and slapped a guy who he felt disrespected, his wife, or that Antarctica’s 90 degrees harder than it’s ever been in the whole world.
Buzz Knight:
Right.
Bethany Van Delft :
That’s more important.
Buzz Knight:
But news cycles, I mean, you obviously are fascinated by the news. You pay attention to the news and the way the news cycles work is we know they’re only trying to get ratings, obviously. I mean, when we all of a sudden name a storm, something called a bombo cyclone, when nobody ever heard of that ever that tells you everything, right.
Bethany Van Delft :
It’s like naming a new neighborhood. When the realtors want you to move to this neighborhood that people are like, “I don’t know, is that a little bit dangerous?” No, it’s so wise. It’s not dangerous. Move on in. Bomb cyclone is really exciting.
Buzz Knight:
It’s the packaging of everything.
Bethany Van Delft :
Yeah. It does not sound like the earth is dying. It sounds like, oh, bomb cycle. That’s pretty cool.
Buzz Knight:
I know. It’s so weird.
Bethany Van Delft :
Let’s all get our bomb cyclone gear and get our ski poles. And I don’t know.
Buzz Knight:
I know. So where do you get your news?
Bethany Van Delft :
I get all of my news from The Daily Show and weekend update.
Buzz Knight:
Right.
Bethany Van Delft :
I toggle, I check NPR, I check BBC, I check New York Times. I always, I check Fox. I check everything to see what everybody is saying.
Buzz Knight:
Yeah.
Bethany Van Delft :
I try to find the source that has the most facts in it and the least amount of opinion or slant it’s really interesting, I always thought being a New Yorker and all or former a New Yorker, I always thought the New York Times is true. That’s the real news. But during the pandemic, that was what I followed. I didn’t read anything else except for BBC and New York Times. During the pandemic, I realized that I was far more anxious and depressed a year into it reading the New York Times than any other thing.
Bethany Van Delft :
There was definitely a doom slant on everything. So even if something positive happened, there was this, yeah. I mean, numbers are going down, but they’re probably going to go right back up. I was like, “That’s right. They probably are. Everything is for nots.” I didn’t notice it until I had to give myself a break. I just turned everything off for two weeks. And I felt so much better than I started reading the times again, and I started feeling bad again. And I was like, “Surely the New York Times can’t be making me feel bad. It just must be the state of news.” And no, there really was this gloomy slant to it.
Buzz Knight:
Yep.
Bethany Van Delft :
Just like the Fox news has this very sensationalized, conspiracy theory slant to it. I could find no news that didn’t have some kind of slant, maybe The Guardian, but there’s definitely a leftist slant, which I don’t dislike. But where is the news that is purely giving you facts? I think there was a time in my lifetime that the news did that. I think so. I don’t know.
Buzz Knight:
Yeah. I believe so.
Bethany Van Delft :
The seventies, I feel like, or maybe some of the eighties where the news was the actual news that was happening.
Buzz Knight:
Right.
Bethany Van Delft :
But yeah, I’m not sure we have that anymore. Not even the times, not even really anything.
Buzz Knight:
Well, you mentioned your parents and activism, and one of the unique things about you is your activism on behalf of your daughter. The down syndrome know aspect of her life. So please talk about how important that is, what we should know about the challenges that your daughter faces and how the world can be more insightful and be helpful.
Bethany Van Delft :
Well, the biggest challenge that my daughter faces is people’s perception of her. That it’s the biggest challenge. She can do everything and anything she can’t do today, she will end up doing it’s the limitations that people put on her because of this diagnosis. Again, it really is part of the same thing that it’s part of racism and sexism and homophobia. And this ableism, it’s just people attaching limits or values to someone because of one aspect of their being. A person with down syndrome, almost all people with down syndrome do all the same things that we all do. And sometimes it takes them a little bit longer, but the opportunity is there. It’s available to people with down syndrome. Just like all people. I think she faces the same limitation as say, women faced at a time, or black people, Asian people.
Bethany Van Delft :
It’s really important to, first of all, just be inclusive. If that’s your practice, if that’s your practice, you’re inclusive first you ask questions later that will benefit everybody. If you see somebody who is alive, they’re worthy, they’re valuable. They deserve the same amount of space and respect and rights that we have, everybody does. So I believe being, having a fully inclusive mindset is the first thing, because that really covers everybody, that covers a person with down syndrome. It covers a gay person. It covers a black person. It covers a person in a wheelchair. It covers everybody. If your mindset is one of full inclusion. I guess after that, if you have a question about someone, for example, someone with down syndrome asked the question, just ask a question. I had a lot of rough experiences of people staring at my daughter when we were out and about, or people saying things like, “Oh, there’s one of them at my church. They’re just so happy all the time.” And just saying these things that were not true, first of all, but also not helpful. Rather than say that, ask a question.
Buzz Knight:
Right. Asking the question has more sensitivity than saying stupid things.
Bethany Van Delft :
It has information.
Buzz Knight:
Right.
Bethany Van Delft :
My daughter is very sassy and she has lots of emotions. She’s a Scorpio.
Buzz Knight:
How old is she?
Bethany Van Delft :
She’s 10 years old. She’s definitely not happy all the time, but who on earth is happy all the time? No one’s happy all the time, neither are people with down syndrome.
Buzz Knight:
Right.
Bethany Van Delft :
Neither, all black people, can’t dance. All Asian people can’t do math. It’s these, I can’t think of the word but,
Buzz Knight:
Just the preconceived notions…
Bethany Van Delft :
Yeah.
Buzz Knight:
… Basically.
Bethany Van Delft :
Or this all inclusive. All people do this. All people like this do this. It’s not true. I think if we all took one minute to think about it, we all know that none of those statements are true. It’s really important to get to know people, get to know the person. If you’ve met one person with down syndrome, you’ve met one person with down syndrome. Just like if you’ve met one white person, you’ve met one white person. And if you’ve met one black person you’ve met one black person, we have to really, that has to be our mindset for us to make progress. I think just as a species, I think.
Buzz Knight:
Are there nonprofits that are important to you that you want to talk about? Especially knowing nonprofits have been really put through the mill in the last couple years with the pandemic.
Bethany Van Delft :
I support the Mass Down Syndrome Congress. They’re an organization that supports people with down syndrome and families with people with down syndrome, they have a wonderful annual conference every year. You can go as a family member of someone with down syndrome or just a curious person, educator, a neighbor or anything, and you can learn so, so, so so much. And you can meet people. You meet lots of people with down syndrome and lots of families supporting people with down syndrome.
Bethany Van Delft :
The Federation for Children with Special Needs. I support they’re a parent led group that began sitting around at someone’s table in a kitchen, just a few families talking about how they can support their children, to have all the opportunity that typically developing children have. They’ve become this incredibly powerful resource for families of people with special needs. They have lots and lots of workshops. I’ve taken parent advocacy training workshops with them. They have advocacy training for family members of people with medically complex needs. Really anything that any way you want to support someone with special needs or someone in special education or something like that. They’re a great place to turn to.
Bethany Van Delft :
I support the Down Syndrome Diagnosis Network, which is a group, again, all of these groups started with families sitting around a table, figuring out ways to support our loved ones. This group started with a few moms on Facebook who had babies with down syndrome. And the way the diagnosis was given to them was just so hopeless, and so they came together to figure out how can this diagnosis be given in a factual way, in a way that doesn’t try to guide you to make one decision or another, but just offers facts and connects you right away with families and resources for you to get support and more information. Because really, it was different by the time Lulu was born, but still not ideal, but there used to be a time when people would say, “We have terrible news, your child has down syndrome. We recommend that you put your child in an asylum, because they’re going to ruin your family’s life.”
Bethany Van Delft :
That’s outrageous, absolutely outrageous. So we’ve come a long way since then, but it still could be better. There still could be more information given at the time of the diagnosis. It could really be… It’s different than having blue eyes or brown eyes, but it really could be. The news could be delivered that easily.
Buzz Knight:
Yep.
Bethany Van Delft :
Your child has blue eyes. Your child has down syndrome. These are ways that you, it means something different for every single person. But here are some resources to jump into right away. And here are a lot of people who have been on this journey longer than you who are there to support you. That’s the best way you can deliver a diagnosis like that.
Buzz Knight:
Well put very well put. So a year from now, what do you two have happened in your career?
Bethany Van Delft :
Oh wow. A year from now. I would love to be hosting an amazing NPR game show. Some of my favorite game shows, ask me another and I, wait, wait, don’t tell me. I would love to be working on my second album, have someone working with me on a children’s book and I would love to find it. I don’t know where it is yet. It’s in me, but I would love to find it. Not necessarily have it out, but just find it. I’d love to be making a nice income, bringing joy, being funny, being informative and just helping people feel good. Even with the difficult things.
Buzz Knight:
Well, I feel good talking to you. You have such a heart and such a great energy and I appreciate you taking a walk with me and I wish you well, because I know it’s going to be a continued great journey.
Bethany Van Delft :
Thank you so much. Thank you. I really appreciate you having me.
Buzz Knight:
Thank you.
Speaker :
Takin’ a Walk with Buzz Knight is available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
About The Author
Buzz Knight
Buzz Knight is an established media executive with a long history of content creation and multi-platform distribution.
After a successful career as a Radio Executive, he formed Buzz Knight Media which focuses on strategic guidance and the development of new original content.
